Wednesday, September 15, 2004

An island

After prayer meeting Tolani and I spent an hour in the car talking about lots of stuff. Issues of feelings and thoughts. Neither of us are good at that stuff. I have not been able to think clearly in month. Tolani's health is a big part of that. But there is a bigger reason. For the last couple months I have felt like an island. I hate that feeling. I can not exist as an island.

The issue is community. For the last 2 1/2 years I was part of a community. That is gone. Parts of it are still around but its different. I need to find a community. I need to find people who are happy not doing anything but discussing whether Jesus was married and other assorted useless info. I am struggling living in isolation. I do not have a solution yet. It seems that I just know the problem.

In the modern world of individuals the ideal person is an island. Worse is the situation where there is no one our age at the corps. That fact is killing me. I just do not understand what my role is in the church. But in the modern setting the pastor is separate from the church and not part of their community. I hate that model. I just want community. I do not know what to do.



You dont have to be seperate from your congregation in fact I would encourage you to build community where you are. It is a risk but you will be blessed by doing so. So many people seek community like yourself - God places us in different places for a reason and as the saying goes bloom where you are planted.

I do understand that feeling of being isolated it takes time, the first year in any new appointment is like what on earth am I doing here? Everyone seems alien and sure you dont know what your role is because people expect you to just step into the shoes of the person who came before you. But you will soon find the shoes dont fit and you will need to make your own mark and find your own way of doing ministry.

Dont be discouraged use the time to just find out more about how big God is and lean on him.

God Bless you greatly.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:38 PM  

Glenda gives good advice. Building community where you are is wise counsel. I've been striving for community for a couple of years now, and I'm finding it like searching for the holy grail, ever outside my grasp. My most precious community is between my wife and I, and maybe that is all I truely need for now.

good journey,

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:15 PM  

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