Wednesday, May 11, 2005

This and that

Well I am currently reading some fiction. My wife got it and it was there while she was in the hospital so I started to read. I'm reading all five books in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series. It is truly my kind of book. Once Tolani feels well enough we will go see the movie. But the book is funny and mind numbing if you try to follow it. Anyway great way to spend time.

On the political side of things: God save us from ourselves.

On the sports side of things: somebody, something, please help the mariners.

On the other side of things: I'm learning a great deal about people in recovery. While some simply have addictive personalities many, most, maybe all have serious issues. Often they are mental, emotional, and spiritual all at the same time. It seems that often the title means everything. One guy who is one of our more active soldiers is really struggling because he has not been recognized like he feels he has deserved. It as long story but he wants to do "full time ministry" but he doesn't really grasp what that means. He also thinks it needs fit his idea of what he wants to do. But I don't know. There is just something wrong. He likes to talk about other people too much.

We have a praise team leader who told us that he is only at church because it gives him an outlet to do music. You see his calling is music. The problem is that he doesn't care about anything else. But we shall see.

Everyday I walk by people who are crazy. I mean they have serious mental issues. They could not ever enter a program nor do they want to. I wonder where they always that way?

We oversee the feeding program the bean line as its called. Every night they sit in the chapel for an hour or so and then listen to message of sorts. I bugs me that all these guest preachers do it preach. I hate sermons anyway but preaching to a hungry and often intoxicated person from a pulpit (truly a pit that's why I'm never there) 25 feet away really is kind of pointless they don't listen. But what to do? Not sure yet. Working on it.

I realized today that I'm tired. A bit physically but I'm tired mentally and emotionally. I have not been eating well (when I'm depressed or angry I eat a lot of junk food) and I'm just tired. I'm tired of watching Tolani be sick. I'm tired of fighting with doctors. I'm just plain tired of it all. I'm ready to get started with learning and doing what I came here to do. (ie train to run a similar program) and that starts Monday. But it seems like everything else has got me really tired.

So anyway, here I am not going anywhere.

In the words of a great movie "Be excellent to each other"


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