Sunday, June 19, 2005

Times I wish I could forget...

Times I wish I could forget...

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about fathers day. I think that seeing people with so much disfunction every day is helping me see my own disfunction. I've been thinking a great deal about my relationship with my dad. I mean its okay now we talk and all. I'd see him more if he moved from hell (read SLC). But I keep thinking about life as a kid. I guess since its been 9 years since I graduated high school I am kind of reminiscing. What frustrates me is that there were so many good times. But I don't remember most of those. What I remember most are those trips that never happened. The planned visits that just didn't pan out. The waiting for him to arrive looking out the window at each passing car. The call saying he couldn't come, the fighting between my parents over the phone. Now, I remember that dad would come watch little league games and even a football practice or two. I remember being so excited when I saw him or heard his voice. And dad was their at high school college and ordination. He was there at my Eagle Court of Honor. I know all that but I missed him when he wasn't there. I guess I'm not angry or even mad still but I remember these things and I guess it just makes me sad.

times I wish I could forget...



By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:33 PM  


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:34 PM  

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