Thursday, July 07, 2005

The last week

Well I've been quiet the last week. I don't really know just nothing to say.

But now I can talk.

Saturday my wife surprised me with a positive pregnancy test. (remember she has miscarried twice before) All was great until Wednesday.

yesterday she miscarried.

I realized yesterday as I sat alone thinking about life stuff and all that crap that maybe its all my fault. I mean really if you think about it it really could be. Tolani says its not but I don't know. I don't even know why I think its all my fault I just feel it is. I mean maybe the Pentecostals are right I just need to have more faith (whatever that means).

I just sat there asking why do we have to experience so much pain. I hate to see T like that and it really pisses me off at something or someone or just life.

I don't know.

The only consolation is God's final message to humanity.

And I think I'm okay with that.


O ps if you want to talk about God's will and how an all controlling God allows this crap, don't.

Someday I'll post why I'm an open theist but essentially I could not serve Calvins god, and his is the only other god who is logically consistent.


sorry guys

By Blogger Gordon, at 3:10 PM  

Bill & Tolani,

We are sad about the miscarriage.

Carol and I will pray for you and the hurt you are feeling.

Michael & Carol Fletcher

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:58 PM  

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