Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Sitting at my desk trying to stay awake. There are no thoughts no revelations just a feeling of I Hate what we've done to Christmas. I do, I hate it. Buy this buy that sale here sale there. No sanity just moving non stop.

So here is a thought, I just realized that exactly 1 year ago I was doing my grandfathers funeral. So freaking busy I just forgot. I miss him I really do. I remember that day clear as water. Yet it seems so far away.

I guess I am just sitting here waiting, waiting for whatever is next.

A 17 year old son of one of our managers rang bells for me today. About 2 hours after he got out there some kids called him a N*^*^ and harassed him. He went home. I hate yes hate some of these idiots who use those words. Lets face the facts there are racists in this world. If I had been there I would have told them off. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a joyous Christmas season.

I hate Christmas.


I cant believe I am retyping this. The computer got rid of my last post. Anyway, here it is again.
Bill I read you sight now and then. It's most always depressing, with feelings of anger, frustration, hate, loathing or whatever. As I read it tonight I could just pass it by again. You say you hate Christmas...Yes, Christmas can be filled with struggle and things that are overwhelming. But it is also filled with joy and Birth. You can always choose to look at the bad side of things. You can decided to bring those feelings to others because of your own frustrations. But give the world a chance. Its not all's not all good. But this is love, and life, and joy. Soon you are going to have a child. I think about the parents you and Tolani will be and I am comforted because I know how much you both will love and care for this gift you have been given. Yet, this little boy/girl is going to look to you, mimic you, and can show him the disappointment filled in you heart over everything you so frequently speak of or you can show him the wonder and joy in a day of life, a day of church, a day of Christmas...whatever it is. Not everything is the end of the world. Not everything is bad. Try giving life a chance. Yes the world can be can also be awesome as you have experienced with meeting you wife and fathering your child in this world. You can hate me for my two cents like you seem to dislike much else or you can try to see something other than just the pain and the crap---there is more than that... Whether you care of not, I still love Tolani and you and pray that your child is healthy, happy, and secure. God Bless------shorty

By Blogger shorty, at 1:13 AM  

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